Enter the the Shoe Box

The shoe box

The flight was long. The seats were short. It seemed to cat that the whole world was being manufactured to a size 8. Sami Sui had moved to a vacant two seat near the window. She had curled up and was snoozing peacefully. The Jade Dragon had stretched out and taken the three seats next to Panda. Cat sat in the remaining empty row, nose to the wall, the only four seats in the plane with fixed armrests.

With glum determination Cat rested her head against the uncompromising headrest and tried to sleep.

The landing at Nakatiri Airport was uneventful. Once cleared by customs the Clan entered the land of the rising sun. Actually the sun had set, it was clammy and warm, the airport was long and not air-conditioned. "Must be power cuts", muttered Panda, "Huh" said Cat as her hair began to drop and curl with sweat.

"The Tsunami, Japan is still feeling the effects of the Tsunami," said Panda, "it was in the note I sent you". "Yes , I know,"snapped Cat, non the wiser, as she had not opened the email that she knew probably contained DETAILS.

The drive from the Airport to the hotel looked promising, a huge orange bus arrived to pick up the clan. "Looks like we are the only ones on the bus," spoke Panda quite pleased that he had scored a whole limousine bus for his family.

None sooner said, the bus stopped and a family , a very large family of Filipinos strode into the bus and took over. They gaggle loudly, fought, coughed and sneezed until two unmerciful hours later the bus pulled up at the Shinjuku Washington Hotel. To the profound dismay of the Clan the Filipinos gathered up their chicks, grand mothers, older sisters, younger brothers, maiden aunts and sleeping babies and began to exit at the same stop.

Sami Sui looked at Panda and mouth the word "Check-in". Instantly galvanised Panda strode forward and with the Jade Dragon fought amongst the tonnes of luggage belonging to the family for the 40 kilos of Clan baggage. Once scored the Cat pushed through the gaggle to make way for Panda, as the race was on to find the check-in counter before the Family. With hours to spare the check in was completed, the magnetic key cards were collected, the free shavers, combs, brushes and shower caps were collected and the Clan stepped into the lift.

It was, mused Cat one of the biggest lifts she had ever seen. It was huge, you could definitely swing a cat in here, she thought. By the seventh floor Cat discovered just how many people could actually fit in a lift that size. By respectfully shuffling backwards the lift was packed to the gunnels in absolute silence.

Arriving at the seventh floor the Clan separated, Panda and Cat to 714 and the Kittens to 732. Panda opened the door to 714, a narrow corridor in which by holding the door open for Cat to bring in the luggage meant a tight squeeze, more jostling and breathing in to get into the room beyond. Cat stood and looked at the room. The concrete block thinly disguised as a double bed took up the entire back wall. Panda put on a brave face and said, "well its only for four nights and it is only $50 per night". "Hmmm" said Cat," we must be paying by the metre".

The kittens knocked on the door, and rolled into the room, laughing, "our room is much bigger than this" they said. "Ha, ha" chortled the Jade Dragon, "you got the Love Nest". Panda and Cat smiled enigmatically. Sami Sui recoiled with "Do not go there you two, just don't need to know, ugh!" Panda and Cat continued to smile dreamily. With that the Kittens left. "Gets them every time", laughed Cat.

The bathroom was another mystery, Cat was pleased she had spent the money on a personal trainer. Getting into the deep bath was no where near as difficult as getting out. The toilet was a marvel of modern engineering, not only a disposal unit but a cleaning unit as well. Quite the novelty to feel the automatic warm rush of water.

It was now 10:30pm and still the Clan had not eaten. A 7 Eleven Family Mart was soon discovered and essentials were purchased. A small soup bar was discovered and entered. Not completely sure of what was being consumed but too hungry tired to be concerned the Clan ate something hot and salty and drank copious amounts of iced cold water.

"Tomorrow "said Cat, we meet the good sisters of St John the Evangelist, they have organised to take us around to see some of the sights."

Sister Anne is a friend of mine, we met many years ago when I was a ship's Cat.

Tired, full, and in Japan at last the Clan went back to their respective cabins. Tomorrow would be another experience.

The making of plans and dust ups.

Cat and Woo sat at the dinner table, mulling over the plans for Woo to house sit while Cat, Panda and the Ninja Kittens were in the land of the rising Sun. Kimmy-Koo the middle kitten was going to secure the premises and feed the grandchildren, Sooty and Copper while the travellers were away.



Woo had plans to spend days with her new Sultan of Pleasure, Waaaayne the Wonder Ram. 

“I am taking him to the land of our fathers” said Woo, “to meet my friends and help me liberate our father’s ashes from our step mother. She has been holding hostage in the wardrobe for nearly 10 years. I will set the captive free”, cried Woo with evangelical fervor.

“Hold on a minute,” spluttered and choked Cat, spraying tea and coughing cake over the blue peony tablecloth. “You cannot do that – it is probably illegal, she paid for the funeral and the cremation. Therefore, ipso facto, quid pro quo, ad infinitum she is the owner of said ashes”.

Woo stared hard at Cat and narrowed her eyes as she gathered her reply, “You don’t frighten me with your Latin, your logic or talk of legal precedence. After all the scattering of our mother’s ashes on the beach was an illegal act in itself. One you organised”, she pointed an accusing pinion towards Cat who almost cowered at the righteous indignation of the Woo.

Cat rebounded with “I was only complying with the wishes of our mother, which is totally different to hijacking my Dad’s ashes from the wardrobe of the rightful owner. It is THEFT. Any way you don’t know if my Dad wants to go with you and be liberated, you don’t have any moral authority to undertake the mission”.

“You don’t know that he was not my father as well. You have no proof that he was not my father too”.

“You cannot have two fathers,” purred Cat, who by now knew she was getting under Woo’s feathers. “Anyway how on earth do you think you are going to get away with hostage negotiation with Waaayne in tow? How will you establish proof of life, there have been no ransom demands”.

“We are not going to negotiate we are going to cleverly disguise a shoe box full of dolomite as Dad and swap him over. Wayne will distract her and I will nip in to the loo and swap the box”.

Cat looked at her a long time, flawed by the simplicity of the plan and the blatant stupidity of her sister. “You recall how long it took to empty out Mum’s ashes, just how long do you think you are going to hide in the toilet, empty Dad’s ashes out of the plastic box (not forgetting to take the screw driver to open it with) into a container and refill the ashes box with the dolomite? Just what sort of distraction do you think Waaaaayne will be able to pull off, it’s not like you can easily pull the wool over Dee’s eyes”.

Woo scowled and flounced her feathers, “Waaayne is a beautiful distraction, and he is fully supportive of my plan”. She sniffed, "I just want Dad’s ashes with us”.

“You could just ask when you go to dinner” said Cat. “If she says no then you can call on plan B. However, after 3 hours in the toilet and the evidentiary dust left behind, she may just twig to the deception”.

Woo collected her things, and prepared to leave. “I shall let you know how it goes”. With a defiant wave she declared, "I will liberate our father if it is the last thing I do”.

The door slammed shut. Cat stretched and unsheathed her claws, reached for the phone and dialed the number of their brother Bernie the Secret Koala Bear.

“Hi Bro,” said Cat “You need to talk with your sister Woo, she is on a mission to rescue Dad’s ashes from the Dee’s wardrobe”.

Bernie groaned and Cat could hear him furiously chewing on leaves, “OK. Understood, wilco. Roger, over and out, chocks away Blue Leader.”

Cat hissed to herself, and she felt very alone.

Later Cat confided in Panda “I wish I could get the same leaves as Bernie. I am sure the world would be better if I was completely paranoid and delusional.”

Panda gave her a long knowing look, and said “What makes you think you are not”.

He sat back rubbing his back on the wall and chewed on a stick of bamboo, “Hmmm grass is good, I love leaves, they are sooo pretty”, he gently hummed to himself.

Cat curled up and slept and dreamed of  temples, ninjas and Shintaro.